Drunks Galore on the Korean Peninsula! Even at the local Grocery Store

So the wife and I are in the foreign foods section of one of the local big box stores here in South Korea. The first fellow white guy I've seen in literally months comes teetering around the corner. It's an older foreigner, who seems affable enough, as he flashes a sloppy grin, saying, "You're from the United States."

"Yeah," I reply.

We both turn to scan the shelves of product directly in front of us, while my wife busies herself trying to find the tomato sauce I need to make my special chili recipe. No dice. All we've found is a chubby, bespectacled old foreign dude who announces that he thinks I'm from Michigan. Says he can hear the northern accent.

I switch to a British accent and tell him, "Actually, I can sound like I come from just about anywhere I like." Then I switch back to rural "redneck" me, saying, "And I'm from Missouri." He insists that he got it right anyway, because he knew it'd start with an M.

Okay....

"Michigan," he starts to mutter. He is also looking for chili, but wants it in the can. But in Asia, you really can't expect the locals to always have everything you want them to have from back home, of course. "Yeah, they got chili beans, but it's not chili! It's just beans in a can in that thin sauce!" this dude splutters on. Then he blurts out, "Michigan!"

"I'm not from Michigan," I have to tell him once again. "And I make my own chili."

"Michigan!" He jumps in front of me rather suddenly, gets up into my personal space and tries to look deeply into my already weary eyes. I'm tired from a long day of teaching kids anyway.

"Milwaukee! Yeah, that's, that's a nice place." He just won't shut up, this brand new acquaintance.

"I'm NOT from Wisconsin either. I take it you're from Canada."

"Yes, yes, Canada." He leans in again, trying to get yet another eye lock on me, and that's when I get THE WHIFF. You know, of alcohol. And it's plenty strong.

"Look, uh... you have a nice evening." I tell him, trying desperately to get my wife to understand that we need to WALK AWAY from this dude, like... NOW. But sadly, Mr. Canada tries to get up in my face again, so I dodge him, saying, "I'm sorry, but you're drunk."

"I actually don't drink," he says, looking like he's trying hard to shake it off, but he's obviously too far gone.

Yeah, well, your non-drinking status may have been the case in Canada, but you sure as hell have been drinking lately, haven't ya, buddy? Welcome to Korea, fellow expat! Along with hazing and bullying, massive social pressure (which includes Koreans peer pressuring one another to get drunk as often as possible!).

And boy oh boy, people here in South Korea have some major RAGE, let me tell ya. And most of them do not handle that any better than they do their booze. Hmm.