Ah, the Wonders of Overpopulation (and a General Lack of Respect for the RULE of LAW)

South Korea is such an incredibly stressful place to live. Why, just today, I was driving in my car, waiting for oncoming traffic to pass. And of course, all of the other drivers waiting at all three of the other stops thought that they had the right of way!

So there I was, just sitting there patiently waiting to make a right at a red light. Because, to be safe of course, I needed to actually wait for oncoming pedestrians who were crossing the crosswalk to pass before I could safely make my turn to the right. I mean, right?

Yet, in typical caveman style, the Korean driver of a big truck who had been approaching quite rapidly from behind me, suddenly came up and started laying on his horn to try to force me to move forward and let him go ahead of me.

So in other words, that all too typical bully of a horribly impatient Korean driver, who was behind me (laying on his horn like a kindergartener who needs to pee really, really badly) while I was waiting patiently at the intersection to make a safe and legal right turn, that jerk (who'd perhaps had way too much caffeine, or... something), he actually expected me to plow right into oncoming pedestrian traffic - just so that he would selfishly be able to get wherever he wanted to go. Or.... I honestly don't know what else he expected me to realistically do in that particular situation.

In fact, I really don't know where the hell else I was supposed to go in my car at that moment. Oh yeah, that's right! Maybe he wanted me to drive up into the crosswalk, where many horrifically impatient Korean Drivers (who often seem to be shockingly childish) tend to obstruct (and endanger and inconvenience) pedestrians who are simply trying to cross the danged street... all the time. Uh-huh. But... I guess it really was an option (the totally insane plowing into pedestrians option)  for me at that particular moment, right?

Or not.

Therefore, I'd just like to take but a brief moment to politely inform all you highfalutin officers back home in my beloved country, the United States of America, all you hyper-vigilant A-hole go-getter law enFORCEment dudes and dudettes, who love to write people tickets for simply not stopping behind the white line in places all over America....

Well, I've got news for ya; you fancy-pants law enFORCErs, you would absolutely and totally (without a single doubt) most likely have a complete and utter nervous breakdown from hell if you tried to be a traffic cop anywhere at all in so-called "modern" Asia (China, Taiwan, South Korea, etc., etc.). Well, I guess you'd probably be fine in Japan, but... psst! The other (certainly "non-racist") Asians tend to hate their stinking guts, so... there's that, I guess.

Anyway... rules? What rules? Oh sure, most drivers certainly do follow some rules over here in South Korea (because driving or even just walking anywhere at all was even worse when I lived in Taiwan). Sure, some (good) South Korean drivers do follow the rules of their own sovereign nation. Of course they do!

They follow traffic rules when, that is, they're not busy running straight through every single red light that they can possibly get away with blowing through. Well... not every South Korean driver, but hopefully, you get the point.

And then there are the times when (some) South Korean drivers go around trying to outright bully other drivers to... to do what exactly? Oh, that's right. They kind of... sort of... well, they seem to want all other drivers on the road to simply just... disappear, when they feel the overpoweringly urgent need to go in pretty much any given direction, on any given day. Twenty-four seven. Every single day of their sadly stressful little lives.

Ah, the wonders of overpopulation!

Thus, in South Korea (and other parts of Asia that I have unfortunately been mentally and emotionally tortured in for long periods of time while working as a humble ESL/EFL teacher over the years), there always seems to be some impatient, childish, hopelessly selfish jerk who inevitably drives (at full speed, in many cases) right up behind you, and then starts to lay on their horn to try to pressure you into breaking the law. So that they don't have to simply... well, wait. Like a big boy or girl! You know, actually wait, like a grown-ass man or woman.

But let's be more charitable to the average South Korean driver for a moment, shall we? Sure! So, let's think about this; just exactly how long would most drivers in South Korea actually have to wait at the stoplight in most cases? Well, actually, just a couple of short minutes (or in extreme cases, four or maybe five minutes at the longest).

And by a couple of short minutes, I literally mean maybe a hundred and twenty whole seconds! Yes, the last time I checked, that's indeed how long it actually takes for two minutes to elapse. Imagine that, eh? I mean, who knew? Who'da thunk that it takes a whole one hundred and twenty seconds (in most cases) for a traffic light in "modern" South Korea to actually turn green! Who knew!

So, what I really want to know is; just who really are the "barbarians," in this particular case, eh? I mean, honestly? Who're the selfish, impulsive, childish folks out there (here in "modern," "democratic" South Korea) who simply cannot be bothered to merely wait a whole two to five whole minutes, like grown-ass men and women, to simply make a freaking right turn, of all things!?! Who are these "barbarians" I so often hear about? Who are they, really?

Because I'm sorry to say that, living and working over here in South Korea, I sometimes hear how, as a white American of European descent, I'm actually supposed to be the "barbaric" one. Yeah... right. Sure. Okay! So you're saying that it's actually all me, and they're all simply a bunch of holier-than-thou blinkered saints? Why, exactly? Because they happen to have been born south of North Korea?

Sorry, all you pathetic little face savers (and Western "liberal" enablers, who couldn't make it in most foreign countries, even fancy-ass Canada or Europe, if your braggadocious little life actually depended on it), but I wasn't born yesterday. And besides, I do not break any law, in any country, simply for the sake of some rude, backward excuse for "culture." And besides, culture is an ever-evolving thing, you know.

So there's that. Yep. There indeed, is that.