Get Out of My Way!

When I lived in Taiwan, way down south in sunny port city Kaohsiung, I had a really great Taiwanese girlfriend named Jo Jo. Great girl! One day, Jo Jo and I went out for a little afternoon stroll. Which really isn't all that easy in densely, densely populated little Taiwan - an island that isn't all that big to begin with, with 23+ million Chinese and a smattering of aboriginals and assorted "waiguoren" (foreigners) all working together to stink up the place.  And I really wish I could honestly say that many locales in Taiwan (and other places I've lived in Asia) don't often smell pretty bad.

On top of all that, all those people are squeezed into only about 1/3 of the island because the other roughly 2/3 is made up of some of the highest mountain peaks in the still tectonically very active Asia Pacific rim region. Anyway, Jo Jo and I did our best to have our little stroll, despite all the noise, chaos and really horrific traffic.

We decided to go up over an overpass for pedestrians. Luckily, right then, we were the only two up there, so we stopped to look down at the usual, insanely buzzing Chinese/Taiwanese traffic in the intersection below. Scooters going here and there, most totally ignoring the traffic lights and other signs. Cars doing pretty much the same, and if you were unlucky enough to be riding a bike or... worse yet, be on foot... good damn luck to you, buddy boy!

Right then, a scooter came so close to colliding with a car, we both thought we were about ready to see another serious accident. I think the combatants (and yes, I chose that word very carefully) missed each other by maybe an inch, and of course then kept going on their own merry, erratic way. "There!" I exclaimed to Jo Jo. "Did you see that? I... just don't understand. I've lived here for years and I just don't get it. What are the rules? Tell me the rules and I'll follow them!"

What Jo Jo said in reply haunts me to this very day, and it is mostly the reason why I simply could not settle down with anyone in Taiwan. No way, Jose. Uh-uh. She then said, and I quote exactly, "I think Chinese people are clumsy. I think it's genetic." As you can imagine, I did not even care to touch that hot ass little potato!

After all, I was raised in the United States, home to people of every race, religion and creed on the face of this Earth.  And I was taught in my beloved America that you don't say "racist" stuff like that!  But then... Jo Jo was Taiwanese/Chinese.  So that statement bothered me a lot, and I've naturally spent a lot of years thinking it over.  What did she really mean?  Who taught her to think that way?  But, Jo Jo and I spoke no more of it that day, or ever again.

I think about Jo Jo sometimes and hope that she is well and happy. Well, she probably is because soon after that, she ran off with a Canadian guy who took her back to Canada with him to meet his parents for Christmas. Now... do I believe that every last individual in ANY group of people is "clumsy?"

The problem with that kind of extreme thinking is... when you start thinking that way, sooner or later, you're getting people into cattle cars and shipping them off to be gassed, shot into barren holes and incinerated in big industrial crematoriums.  And what did the human race ever really get out of doing any of that?

So... what I really think is that there is a maximum amount of any kind of animal (and humans are animals, top of the food chain or not) that you can comfortably or safely put into any environment. Exceed that amount and your Alcatraz gets more violent, your dog pound gets more and more inhumane.

Or... people just start to behave erratically. For lots of reasons, really, and not always the same ones. Sometimes, you encounter a person who is just ANGRY inside, but they can't let it out in their culture, where drunken weekends are virtually the only pathetic tonic. Or, they're not making enough money. Or, they aren't getting along with their wife. Maybe they are in a huge "BALI BALI" hurry for all sorts of other socially pressurized reasons.

Or... they simply are tired as hell because since they were a little kid, they only got 5 or 6 hours of sleep because they were forced to go to class after class, from early in the morning to late at night. Sleep and any sort of childhood be damned. Gotta pass those exams! Gotta have that BIG FACE and the rice bowl that comes with it.

Or... maybe they're just too damn tired of having to get out of everybodies way all the time. "Why can't I just walk where I want?" Well, because you can't. That's why. Everybody has to follow rules. "Well, then... I'll pretend I don't see the other people around me and they'll HAVE TO get out of my way! Yeah!"

Sometimes it's just passive aggression. Sometimes it's genuine clumsiness in a region of the world where most people haven't been driving for more than an average of a full decade. And their parents didn't have any of these new fangled Western cars either! Those parents... that survived wars and terrible deprivation with only a sweet potato to live on every day. If they were that lucky, that is.

But again, they don't always really do have a good excuse for not looking where they're going, do they? In any human society, we all gotta not only get along, but also honestly, truly respect the people around us. Not just IGNORE them.

And, Asian brains splatter on a windshield pretty much the same way that anybody elses brains do.  And in my experience, things like "culture," nationality and so called "race" do not in any way, shape or form subvert or compensate for basic universal laws (like gravity) that apply to all humans.  Each and every one of us.